Weather report time

Ten thing that I might one day regret doing as a kid

1. Smearing shit under the door handle of my neighbors car. He was a dick though.

2. Stuffing crayons into the radiator in first grade.

3. Killing squirrels and eating them.

4. Trying to pick up a car on amphetamines.

5. Lighting fires.

6. Giving my teacher chocolate Ex-Lax brownies.

7. Stealing all those VCRs.

8. Washing dishes and shucking oysters.

9. Vodka.

10. Opossum hunts.

Hurricane Gustav

I went to the future in my time machine and took some pictures of New Orleans LA after Hurricane Gustav hits it. Then I came back to share the lulz with you.

These are not photos from Katrina mind you, the exact same thing really does happen.

Ten things I do not to say in front of the kids

1. Fuck

2. Shit licker

3. I need to wash my ass.

4. Racial slurs like Mexican.

5. Princesses are fake.

6. I am so drunk.

7. Pray to Jesus.

8. Pool is closed.

9. Do I need to get the spooky man out of the shed?

10. Chlamydia is not a flower.

Qué oculta la sobriedad, el alcohol revela.

Ten things that attract bugs

1 Lights

2 Shit

3 Old drinks

4 Hippies

5 Puddles of urine

6 Wild women

7 Chickens

8 Crumbs

9 Pine straw

10 Bait fish

*

Me as a bird with a Mexican talking in the background

10 No's for the Pool

1. No cut off jeans

2. No Peeing or pooping

3. No running or cartwheels

4. No glass unless in a koozie

5. No cannonballs or preacher seats, chair slides, Marco Polo or synchronized dance

6. No old wild women or gays wearing G-strings

7. No wild kids acting all crazy and shit

8. No dogs

9. No fat people eating corndogs and turkey legs

10. No Rap, Country/Western, French pop or NPR

Ten Favorites

1 Beer = Natural Light or Heineken

2 Sexual Position = Me just laying there and you doing all the work bitch.

3 Pills = Ones with Codeine or Amphetamines

4 Books = Non fiction and Textbooks

5 Electronics = Sony

6 Cymbals = Zildjian

7 Strings = Ernie Ball and Martin

8 Trucks = Ford Lightning, jerk

9 Foods = Fried chicken and collard greens

10 Music = Stuff that kicks ass

Mmmmmmmmmwednesday

Culture and Diversity

Good morning.

Here are some stupid bitches humping air and fucking the invisible man.